Strange Relationship – Version X Chapter 007: Watching Me Watching You

Tuesday; the morning after the lunch before. I’m still tingling from my encounter with my boyfriend’s son, but thankfully it’s balanced by the headache that the same encounter also left me with. What I really needed was a nice quiet day at work, I had a hundred simple tasks that I could do that would take my mind off everything. The last thing I needed was to get an email from Ben.

It said simply this:

Log into the instant chat messenger.

Not even signed. I knew it was from him of course, not least because his name appeared in the sender column, but it was also recognizable by his breathtaking arrogance. Another male line trait in their family. For the first of what I guessed would probably be many, many times, I closed down all critical thinking faculties and simply logged in as bidden. He’d added me to his list of chat buddies, and the message came up more or less immediately and was accompanied by the little tinkling bell sound.

> How are you?

I scrabbled around the monitor, looking for any control that might in any language be marked ‘volume’. Several hieroglyphs of possibly Martian origin seemed to indicate half an orange, the big bang, and the water slide at the leisure centre. The message sat expectantly on my screen, seemingly mocking my technical ineptitude. I may have a Masters’, but I can’t turn down the noise from the telly. Ignoring the problem for a moment I typed out a perfunctory reply.

> Very well, thank you. How are you?

Nice and non-committal. No sins indulged with that reply.

> Also very well, thank you for asking.

Before I could think of something clever to reply with that didn’t make me sound like a wanton slut, the bell tinkled again.

> Did you have a good time yesterday afternoon?

How do you answer a question like that? ‘Well yes, I do enjoy a good rogering from a random stranger half my age who turns out to be my boyfriend’s son’. In fact I was about to start typing it, before thinking better. Plumping again for the non-committal, I typed

> It’s a lovely bar, very trendy, and I hear the food is nice too.

Jeez, I could have shot myself. If that isn’t an open invitation to be taken out again then I simply don’t know what is. When the bell tinkled again a minute later I didn’t want to Alt-tab back and look at it. I did though, of course.

> Do you like being tied up?

Strange Relationship – Version X Chapter 005a: Caught Watching

Authors Note: this ‘extra ‘chapter, which doesn’t appear in the synopsis, is dedicated to my favourite and most impatient reader!

An  invitation to dinner – even if it is an invitation to dinner with the boyfriend you’re not sleeping with and the son that you are – is an excuse to buy a new outfit, and whilst I’m not quite the trend whore that some people are it’s still nice to look good and make an effort, don’t you think? There’s a huge shopping centre near me, and although most of the time it seems like exactly the same shops as everywhere else (honestly, don’t you think every high street in every town is just like every other?) there are a couple of places where you can get some really nice stuff. After an enjoyable couple of hours cruising for bargains – I am so the Great White Bargain Hunter – I noticed that time was drawing on. After a quick cappuccino to revivify myself, I headed for the car park.

The car parks are huge, and because I’d elected to go in the evening all the closest spots to the exits were full. This meant I’d had to park near the cinema entrance, which was several minutes walk from where I was. The path took me away from the main car parks and round an altogether nicer area along the canal. Happy at the thought of a nice dinner party, and the unlikelihood of any bizarre sexual shenanigans whilst Richard was with me, I was almost skipping along as the last remnants of the sun painted red rivulets across the sky.

I was about to round the last little copse of trees that separated me from my car when I heard the noises. It was a girl’s voice, or rather, a girl making the noises. My first thought was one of panic – this secluded spot would be the perfect place for a mugging, or even rape.

Caught between screaming for help and simply running away, I stood petrified by my own indecision. When my legs became my own again I had the presence of mind to dart into the clump of trees immediately to my left, seeking a vantage point from which I could make an informed decision. I’d already snapped open my phone to make the call when I saw them.

Strange Relationship – Version X Chapter 001: First Meeting

“Would you like someone to tie you up whilst you have sex?”

“What? I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening. What was the question?”

“Caitlin, pay attention! Question eleven: have you ever let a man tie you up? Nat and I said yes, and Liz will if she ever stops wasting time and lets you-know-who get into her knickers!”

“Shut up Jen, I’m just making him wait. I just want to make sure, that’s all, just make sure that we’re ready for it!”

“Oh my god, he couldn’t be more ready! His tongue permanently hangs out. He has a thing for you so big you can see it from space! Caitlin, answer the question, we’re nearly there. Ever indulged in a little tying-up?”

“Sorry, no, I’ve never been tied up. Never tied anyone else up. I might have tied someone’s shoes up once or twice, does that count?” I ask, smiling innocently. They all laugh at me. So far I’ve answered no to pretty much every question. Where do they find these silly magazine questionnaires about sex? Is it really necessary to read them all out loud on the tram in the morning? And how is it that I end up answering no all the time? Of the girls that I am with, Liz is the youngest, and even she’s done more than me, if her answers are to be believed. Maybe I’m just in a bad mood, seeing as I really did have the worst weekend ever. Shouldn’t have gone clubbing on Saturday night. I ask them for the next question, confident that, as the oldest, sooner or later there must be one that I can answer with ‘yes’.

“Okay, question twelve … ooh, maybe we should skip that. Let’s do thirteen, it’s about anal!”

Strange Relationship – Version X Prologue

The epitome of a clichéd Hollywood leading man, he is tall, dark and handsome; she is pretty, nervous and flattered. Despite the din in the nightclub they’ve been chatting for thirty minutes now and she thinks they’re really connecting. He laughs at her anecdotes, is interested in her job and keen to find out about her as a person. He leans in close, his mouth just a breath away from her cheek, and her heart simply ceases. She’s involved with someone, she’s twice his age and she thinks he’s going to kiss her. Time stretches out as though painted by Dali as he opens his mouth to speak.

“I was wondering…

Strange Relationship – Chapter 5 (Version VI)

Originally I had no intention at all of meeting Ben again; it was the girls who talked me into it. Once I’d confessed to them that we’d met up for a drink, they were full of questions. None of them particularly like Richard, even though they haven’t met him. But they’ve all been around when I’ve had texts telling me he was going to be late, or heard him on the phone breaking a date. They never thought to ask how far Ben and I had gone on the date, which was good because I wouldn’t have been able to lie very well to them. I did suggest that he seemed ‘interested’, and once that was out they insisted they would frog-march me to meet him if I didn’t agree to go. Surprisingly enough Richard was busy the following night – he had some sort of print worker’s convention that required him to stay overnight – so I was totally free, if I did want to go. I met the girls for lunch, had a glass of wine, and allowed myself to be talked into it.

The bar in question was some way from the scene of our previous date, and c completely different type of bar. It favoured a slightly more mature clientele, which I thought was very considerate of him. Perhaps he’d seen me wincing as I tried to ignore the din from the other bar (do they call it gangster rapping, or something like that?). This one had deep leather sofas in various colours in pairs facing each other, and although the walls were adorned with flat-screen TVs they were easy to ignore. The music was soft and quiet, summery almost, all pianos and glitterballs. I took a stool at the bar and when a very smart barman smiled expectantly and placed a napkin before me, I ordered a gin and tonic.

I was rather hoping that Ben would think I looked rather better out of work clothes – and in partying clothes, rather than just out of clothes altogether. This was my number one LBD, short and silky, delicate cleavage allowing the choice of whether to go with undies or not. I decided I would, simply because I do pride myself on being a connoisseur of lingerie and therefore own many items that he may or may not be lucky enough to get a look at. Underneath this was a pink and black set, very lacy, and not very much of it. The cups gave me rather more cleavage than would normally be available and honestly, there’s nothing that gives a girl more of a confidence boost than looking down and seeing the cleavage of a supermodel. Well, nothing that gives this girl more confidence anyway.

Strange Relationship – Chapter 1 (Version VI)

“Come on Caitlin, there’s only you that hasn’t answered!”

“What? I’m sorry, I wasn’t listening. What was the question?”

“This is important, pay attention! Question eleven: have you ever let a man tie you up? Nat and I said yes, and Liz will if she ever stops wasting time and lets you-know-who get into her knickers!”

“Shut up Jen, I’m just making him wait. I just want to make sure, that’s all, just make sure that we’re ready for it!”

“Oh my god, he couldn’t be more ready! His tongue permanently hangs out. He has a thing for you so big you can see it from space! Caitlin, answer the question, we’re nearly there. Ever indulged in a little tying-up?”

“Sorry, no, I’ve never been tied up. Never tied anyone else up. I might have tied someone’s shoes up once or twice, does that count?” I ask, smiling innocently. They all laugh at me. So far I’ve answered no to pretty much every question. Where do they find these silly magazine questionnaires about sex? Is it really necessary to read them all out loud on the tram in the morning? And how is it that I end up answering no all the time? Of the girls that I am with, Liz is the youngest, and even she’s done more than me, if her answers are to be believed. I ask them for the next question, confident that, as the oldest, sooner or later there must be one that I can answer with ‘yes’.

“Okay, question twelve . Ooh, maybe we should skip that. Let’s do thirteen, it’s about anal!”

“What’s wrong with twelve? Ask away.”

“But we know what you’ll say to this one. Oh, what the heck. Question twelve then: have you ever kissed another woman?” Straight away, and in spite of my best attempts not to let it, my face wrinkles up at the prospect.

Strange Relationship – Chapter 4 (Version 3)

The email, when it came, as you and I both knew it would, made its appearance in my in-box two days later. Strategically delivered a half-hour before lunch, so that I would have less time to be able to think of a reasonably watertight excuse for not going, no doubt. It sat there, resplendent in bold text, simply daring me to click on it and open it up. A virtual Pandora’s box for the information age. Should I click on it, and let loose on the world the ills contained therein, or do I have the fortitude to ignore it and simply delete it, consigning it to the trashcan frustrated?

Unfortunately the preview pane was turned on so I could see everything it said straightaway.

It said simply this:

Log into the instant chat messenger.